Twenty..6! Quarter life crisis.

 

“Wait on the Lord, be of good courage,and he shall strengthen thine heart, wait, i say,on the Lord” Psalms 27:14

Its quite amazing how the subtle passing of a year never ceases to present itself as a period of reflection and sudden  awakening…

Happy birthday to me!

I recently turned 26 and my birthday was as good as any can get, i had an amazing family of people around me who made my day wonderful. I was and still am very grateful. However my day presented itself in the most perfect, and very common dichotomy.  Happy to see another year but plagued by gnawing feeling that i am getting older yet no where near where i’d like to be.

Like many other people my age,  I am often burdened by the question, “when will things start happening for me? where is my so-called prince charming? when will i get it together?” So as a result my life as a female in my twenties has become a pattern of seeking a potential husband in every pair of pants that looks my way in grocery aisles, overcoming broodiness, sudden waves of frugality coupled with extravagant spending, oh and not forgetting the struggle of longing for marriage and changing my mind the next day, because eh boys are stupid.  Heres to being unapologetically woman! lol yes, i’ll change my mind as soon as i’m done typing this out, so i hope my tongue-in-cheek opinion of men is well founded.

Ultimately in the midst of  all this confusion and relentless self-scrutiny, the crux is and will forever remain my developing spirituality, the place where i find solace when everything seems insurmountable. It gives me great pleasure to say that above all things, this part of my life, remains solid. God has become my anchor and in Him( i believe) all my burdens are taken care of.

My longing for the meaning and purpose of my life suddenly became a question of time, When God? When? was the incessant question that had nested in my brain, fervent in pursuit. With the dating struggles, yearning for financial independence and my lacking sense of self, i continually prayed and posed the question, when?

The answer eluded me for quite sometime as i was often rendered confused and defeated. Eventually the answer came to me in the form of  a sermon one Sunday morning, and boy the goosebumps i experienced at the revelation!

Following the sermon, i stumbled upon a confirmation of what my faith had led me to believe. God was speaking to me. With curiosity and  driven conviction, i played this video conveniently titled “Why God will make you wait” . I played this  message presented by Bishop TD Jakes and i was rendered speechless, by the emphasis he made about the importance of the waiting season…

Often times “God will place you in isolation, just as He did Elijah [1King 17 :2-4] so that He can work in you…” With this newly found knowledge ,i realised that within this text, lay before me the very conflict of life i had unkowingly succumbed to.  I am experiencing  “the best and worst moments of my life at the same time.”  A season, i now know, crucial to my personal growth and development.

It may not always be enough that you’re a talented, wonderful and an educated individual. When your person hasnt ripened enough to satisfy Gods hunger for the fullfilment of the deeds created for you, He may let you dwell in isolation and work on you.  It may not makes sense while youre at your “lowest”, because you will be overlooked, perhaps sometimes cast aside however in this process you mature.

In this season, it will seem like “everybody else is being promoted but you, everybody is being recognised but you, everybody is being loved but you. Yes your talented, set aside anointed you, will sit there and wait.”~B.TD Jakes

God wants to make you high quality, therefore “You will wait on love, you will wait on promotion and success, so like a fine wine He will allow you to be  stomped on and put away until you mature. Dare if you will and, embrace your Kerith Ravine and never forgetting that He says…

“Be still and know that  I am God”…

 

 

 

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